


A Confession

by Koniro_Yotsuyu



Series: 15 Years. [1]
Category: Saint Seiya, Saint Seiya: The Lost Canvas
Genre: Abusive Relationships, F/M, Incest, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 06:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3280907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koniro_Yotsuyu/pseuds/Koniro_Yotsuyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shun:</p><p>I am writing this letter for you because i need to make a confession. You see, I have been a massive idiot and a very bad saint, im horribly embarrassed. But you need to know, not only that, I need to tell you. Shun, I have been a coward, I have kept a secret for 15 years out of fear, and I have decided today, that I simply could not let myself keep living that way! It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to you...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Confession

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys, thanks for reading, please make a comment and let me know what you think, im planning on making a multichapter fic surrounding this letter and studying in detail the events in it. Let me know if you would be interested in that.

 

** Shun: **

I am writing this letter to you because I need to make a confession. You see, I have been a massive idiot and a very bad saint, I’m horribly embarrassed. But you need to know, not only that, I need to tell you. Shun, I have been a coward, I have kept a secret for 15 years out of fear, and I have decided today, that I simply could not let myself keep living that way! It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to you.

I remember that time when my cowardice got me almost killed, and you had to be the one to make a sacrifice to bring me back. When I woke up in the house of Libra and saw your sleeping body next to me, I couldn’t contain the desperation, I screamed, I remembered I screamed, and then, when I understood what you had done, I started to cry, because I would have rather died, and I understood that you had accepted an almost certain death, I knew, deep down in my heart, that it wasn’t my life that you found so important. I knew that you would have done that for anyone, and most importantly you did it for Athena, and because you had a chance of surviving after warming me up with your cosmos, but I couldn’t survive if you left me like that. You didn’t think about me, about how much you would miss me if I were to die, and you might say you did, because I’m your friend and you are fond of me, but I know the truth, you are just that great, you would have done the same for any other saint of Athena, even if they were a complete stranger.

You are such an amazing person Shun, so incredibly kind. You are so innocent… Shun, I must tell you, I... I still have nightmares about that time when you got burnt, you fell on a fire and went though such pain, all because you were just too good to me, and I was an incredible coward. I still keep that image in my mind, to look at your pretty eyes covered in tears, at your beautiful face covered in burns, oh it hurt, it hurt so, terribly bad.

I can’t let this letter go on further without telling you, I need to stop being such a chicken, Shun…. I, I can’t even write it I...                                                                            I love you.

I said it! Finally, even if you still haven’t read this, it feels like such a relief, I will say it again, and I love you.

I love you I love you I love you I love you!

Shun, I have loved you since I was seven years old, I remember my heart almost froze when I heard you were going to Death Queen Island. I remember convincing my master to message yours so I would get news on how you were doing, and I would despair at the news of combats where you refused to fight back, and be comforted at your master’s words, he was convinced that you would leave the island with that cloth, he said that your kindness was your greatest strength, that only someone as kind as you could wear and be one with the Andromeda cloth.

I believe him, I think you are one of the strongest warriors that I have ever met, you defeated saga all on your own! You could take down Aphrodite without wearing armor, without the chain. You can do whatever you set your mind to, anything at all. That why Eros chose you, oh I hated him so deeply for taking you away, I hated him even more than I hated Shaka, and I really hated him a lot. Who cares if he is a god? The god of love and passion took the love of my life away from me for two years! Bastard! He knew I loved you madly, he could see that. Then again, I didn’t stop you either. I didn’t because I was scared.

I am tired of being scared I can’t believe I was so pathetic I watched lovers come in and out of your life and I never did anything! I remember it as if it had been yesterday!

First, there was that guy at the love island, that one murdered me with jealousy! He was a leading man out of a rom-com, he was willing to be with you in spite of your condition as the future saint of Virgo and even though you had admitted you didn’t love him, and then, inevitably, you did fall in love with him, It drove me crazy, to see that you had found happiness with someone else, someone who wasn’t me.

Then there was that girl, I didn’t think you liked girls as well, and damn, she was gorgeous, she was so quaint and sensual, so shameless, she was a really badass chick, and on top of it she teased you so much, I almost liked that one, because of the cute displays she would make you do, the way you blushed, or when you got jealous, and especially when she surprised you by being romantic and your eyes showed such joy. It hurt, terribly, but I had grown up, your happiness didn’t bother me anymore, not even when you were happy with another person, at least I could have you share your joy with me.

But it was different with your next lover, I did hate him, oh I hated him with such a mad passion, he had somehow gotten your heart and instead of being incredibly happy and grateful, as anyone else in the world would have been, he used and hurt you, absolutely disgusting, and then you started to change, started to cry, you would sleep till way past noon and stay most of the time in your room, now it was a messy room, not like before, and that man, he did something horrible, something I will never forgive. He took away your smile from me.

It was a blessing that Shaka called and had you go to the sanctuary, a blessing Ikki might have had something to do with, but thanks to that, you were away from him, and from us, but the fact that you were getting better was the most important part, I was really glad to hear that you were happy again, once again, in spite of the fact that your happiness was with someone else.

I’ve always wondered about the nature of your relationship with Shaka, after all, there was that… thing, ritual, as he called it, to become a Virgo saint. And I really don’t think something like that could be easily forgotten, maybe, when you get back to Greece next month, you are going to reunite with your lover, for all I know.

And I don’t mind it anymore, I have seen your happiness in other arms for so long that I’m used to it now. Because Shun, I’ve had had the misfortune of coming across many things, there was one time that I saw you in bed with your brother, and since I’m making a confession, I might as well let it all out,  because I stood there and silently watched, at first I thought it was a bit sick to be honest, but… the way you acted shun, not that Ikki didn’t make quite a show too, I couldn’t handle myself and… it turned me on, I admit it, I don’t only love you. You also make me desire you with a burning need, you are gorgeous, and you are so innocent, or at least used to be, perhaps its only an act now, I hate to know that you had that innocence taken away, but I still want you shun, and I hate how much I want you, I have so many dark ideas, so many horrible things I wish I could do to you, I want to punish you for not being mine, how sick is that? You have done nothing wrong! All you did was being your amazing self and choosing to share your life with people who were worth your time, unlike me.

I am a terrible person, it’s why I’m writing this letter, I need to stop holding on to all this, I must grow up and let this go, let you go, probably, this is not a love letter, this is a confession, and I really don’t expect you to reciprocate, I know that… I’m just not good enough, you could have so many better options, so many warriors and people who are not, I remember how all the girls died for you in the tournament and continued to do so, how some men also did, how half our friends and foes in armor wanted you, and of course they would want you, you are wonderful, you are gorgeous inside and outside, and you are also a strong warrior, of course you would have so many suitors,

And well, I’m only another one of them, but it doesn’t matter, the important thing here is that I’m growing up, I’m getting over my fears, I think the reason why I never told you must have been that I was afraid of losing the possibility of fantasizing that somehow, perhaps, you loved me like I loved you, to fool myself, but I have fooled myself for fifteen years, we are not seven years old anymore shun, I don’t care about the fact that you are a boy like I did before, when I hadn’t accepted my sexuality, but now I have, I don’t care about the fact that you are my brother in shield, like I did when we came back with our armors, when we were 14 and 16 years old, or how I cared about you being the next saint of Virgo, when I found out about what that entailed, or the way I cared about Ikki,  when he finally noticed my very evident interest on you and started to mess with me.

Oh, it’s all in the past now, I’ve grown from my doubts; I was a cowardly little boy back then. But I’ve had enough, I’m sick of myself! And I absolutely must do this in order to become an adult, better late than never, I’m twenty-five years old, its already pretty late, I know, but it could be a lot later, that scared me, the idea of… of living my whole life with this secret, I was capable of that, but no, I can’t keep holding this, it is killing me inside, I love you with all my heard Shun, I hope you can understand that I don’t mean any harm with this letter, I just needed to be free, this love is like a prison to me, and if I was ever going to become free, there was no time like the present, especially because of my trip. I won’t see you in a  year and a half, maybe two, that gives me enough time for this whole thing to cool down, when my feelings are old news, perhaps it won’t hurt our friendship so much

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you all of this to your face, I didn’t dare, in fact I told Shiryu to force me to give him the letter once I finish it so he can give it to you because I know that if I have to be the one handing it to you, or leaving it on your room, I would end up chickening up and take the letter away, and keep on holding on to this secret.

With all my love and my regrets

**  Hyoga **


End file.
